Listening to: Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most
So just a little update about me as I never usually talk about my life. My father has had cancer off and on since 2011 right after I got married. Last Thanksgiving, all the children - my two younger brothers, and my sister - were told we were having just a family get together with our group at the beach house. Well, that was they were dropping a bomb on us. After 5 years of struggling with chemotherapy, treatments, and medication, my father had decided that he was no longer going to try to fix his cancer anymore. He didn't want to be drugged up on the meds all of his Doctors were pushing on him for pain, rather to enjoy what life he has left rather than wait to see if chemo would just give him another year (and yes I am bawling now typing this out - maybe listening to Rascal Flatts wasnt such a good idea). Seeing as all of my siblings are grown, my youngest little brother is 23 and I am the eldest at 29, without hesitation we agreed that he should live out his days however he wants to - because it is HIS life. A month later we went on a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico for five days the week before Christmas. lol
It's hard for me to talk about generally. I usually keep myself in-check, but as the days go by and I see how much pain he's in... (I'm having my own pitty party alone at the house right now). My father and step mother have always been about appearances and such. The other night we all met to go out and eat dinner, and someone that they knew started talking to him, telling him "oh you look great!" and they wanted to know what the newest update was, and he openly told them the news, like he was okay with it. I guess it's good that he's coming to terms but it is sooo hard. The cancer he had originally was Stage 4 Colon cancer at his first colonoscopy at age 50. It spread to his lymph nodes a year later, and now it's progressed to his lungs and some of his major nerves. I would never...NEVER wish this on anyone. It is a horrible sickening disease.
Alright...I'm gonna go try to color some art now...